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Cutting through a thickening fog
a dreary day of yesteryear
I squelched across the shallow bog
in hopes for guidelights to appear

A light I saw, not from a lantern
Ghostly shadows played across
the smokey whispers floating like phantoms
from under the mulshy water's moss

And from the under, sleething forward,
a nebulous shape with empty eyes
Cold fish fingers pulling my breath toward
itself, turning me to stone inside

something's rising, something's sinking
pale darkness, neverblinking
So people notice both the artwork and the poem =)

:+fav:/comment artwork here ---> [link]

****

Note: Lots of made-up words! What is the name for words like that? Ones that don't exist, but you can understand what they mean, as they represent the sound or feeling of the action they are describing, given the right context?
Add a Comment:
 
:iconantesoph:
Antesoph Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2010
Woah, amazing. It was somewhat scary, and the artwork was great. All around amazing job. :D
Reply
:iconartifice-child:
artifice-child Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2010
the meter of the rhyme wavered here and there, but when it was consistent, it WORKED.

lovely, lovely last two stanzas. and go ahead with the made-up words; it didn't jar me at all.
Reply
:iconvasilisa-uzhasnaja:
Vasilisa-Uzhasnaja Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
It depends on how you pace yourself when reading it. It might sound wonky, but then again, it sounds right to me. I have no idea how to properly structure a poem :P Don't really care. This is the only one that rhymes.
Reply
:iconravynlarue:
RavynLaRue Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2009  Student Traditional Artist
I just adore this piece! May I please use this for one of my novels (as an illustration) if I give you full credit, and a copy of the book? :please:
Reply
:iconrebekaphotography:
RebekaPhotography Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
Hey,
This piece has been featured!!
Be sure to check out the article, and fav it by clicking the green heart on the top left side, this will make sure more people see the article and your work! Also be sure to take a look at the other artist's work and give them some love, they deserve it :) [link]
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:icontrante:
Trante Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2009
not illiterate at all, we do it in french too. see the art post-refus global. excellent job
Reply
:iconluisapreissler:
LuisaPreissler Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2009  Professional Digital Artist
You're absolutely not an idiot, the poem is wonderful! I love Shakespeare and any kind of inventive new words, it's really beautiful. Fav! ;)
Reply
:iconpixyandtacobeans:
PixyandTacobeans Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2009
i LOVE this <3 So beautiful and emotive!
Reply
:iconvasilisa-uzhasnaja:
Vasilisa-Uzhasnaja Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks very much, I appreciate that :)
Reply
:iconjesusroxgirl:
jesusroxgirl Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
great rhyme scheme and descriptions! the pic is awesome, btw
Reply
:iconhalisoar:
Halisoar Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2009
Kind of scary....but i guess that was its mision!! nice done!! ;)
Reply
:iconvasilisa-uzhasnaja:
Vasilisa-Uzhasnaja Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
It's definitely meant to be scary ;) Glad I succeeded :heart:
Reply
:iconsonify:
Sonify Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
oh this is chilling, i love this! its perfect :)

i would like to be able to write like this lol
Reply
:iconvasilisa-uzhasnaja:
Vasilisa-Uzhasnaja Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks very much, I really appreciate that :hug:
Reply
:iconsonify:
Sonify Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
no problem :)
Reply
:iconfalseenthusiasm:
FalseEnthusiasm Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2009
Even Edgar Allan Poe used fake words, too. I think it makes it more interesting!
I love both the drawing and the poem. You truley did a brilliant job. :3
Reply
:iconvasilisa-uzhasnaja:
Vasilisa-Uzhasnaja Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
It actually makes the words more 'real' because they resemble the sounds and actions they are describing :) Thanks for your words :heart:
Reply
:iconlunalopus:
lunalopus Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009   Writer
Very creepy in a short span, very Poe-ish. See I make up words too!
The art work lends well to it, but the poem holds up on it's own. Great job!
Reply
:iconbeaulivres:
beaulivres Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2009
Sometimes making up words is the only way you can express yourself, eh. Nice work.
Reply
:iconvasilisa-uzhasnaja:
Vasilisa-Uzhasnaja Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't know what the name for this technique is, or if there is one...but the words I made up are sounds in verb form. Or motions, things like that, so there's more of a genuine 'feeling' for maximum effect.
There's no word 'squelched' but it's like that gross wet sound if you were walking through mud. Using dictionary/thesaurus terms sometimes really gets in the way. I've seen a lot of work that would've been perfect if the writer hadn't used so many fancy words and adjectives. It kills :( Makes it sound more like a college paper than a fluid piece of writing.

Thanks very much for reading :blowkiss:
Reply
:iconnah-belle:
nah-belle Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2009
How delightfully dark... eerie yet fantastical. The style reminds me of The Jabberwocky so kudos on the Lewis Carol quality!
I especially like the last 2 lines.
Reply
:iconvasilisa-uzhasnaja:
Vasilisa-Uzhasnaja Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks very much :heart: I'm really glad it shows :)
Reply
:iconnah-belle:
nah-belle Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2009
It sure does. And the illustration with it reminds me very much of Tim Burton/Neil Gaiman's Coraline
Reply
:iconvasilisa-uzhasnaja:
Vasilisa-Uzhasnaja Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Which I still haven't seen :crying: Neil Gaiman is God
Reply
:icongarzla:
Garzla Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2009
Very haunting indeed =) awesome use of imagery.
Reply
:iconvasilisa-uzhasnaja:
Vasilisa-Uzhasnaja Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
It's so rhymy, but I like it too :) I wrote it way back in high school, and somehow it doesnt suck :XD: Thanks!
Reply
:icongarzla:
Garzla Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2009
xD Yeah, at least you're not like me, whenever i write something, the day after I already think it sucks =P
And you're welcome :)
Reply
:iconemokid07:
emokid07 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I like the picture.... very eerie indeed! the poem was incredible as well... i think i am deeply inspired to write another piece myself! Keep up the great work!
Reply
:iconvasilisa-uzhasnaja:
Vasilisa-Uzhasnaja Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks very much :D
Reply
:iconmirrorakay:
Mirrorakay Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2009
Truly creepy! I think your wording is fantastic and does not make you come off as illiterate in the least. If anything, it adds to the fantasy and creativity of it all. Great work!
Reply
:iconkickupafuss:
kickupafuss Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2008
what a fantastically creepy duo =]
Reply
:iconvasilisa-uzhasnaja:
Vasilisa-Uzhasnaja Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks, I appreciate it :heart:
Reply
:iconcsnyder:
CSnyder Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2008
very eerie and i love it
well done
Reply
:iconvasilisa-uzhasnaja:
Vasilisa-Uzhasnaja Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you :) I did it in high school, and still like it!
I promise more literature in the near future ;)
Reply
:iconcsnyder:
CSnyder Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2008
oh cool and youre welcome
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2008
:w00t:
Reply
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